sentimental kills

I cant stop being a worry-wart
Today my samples seemed to be having rare contamination
If it is, that means my effort will be gone
Gone are my christmas' eve and christmas, doing something that did not work

I worry about FYP
Worry that I cant get what I want in the end
It must be at least an A-, else i'll need to bang my head on wall
But does it really matter?
Sometimes i just feel like giving up
All those frustrations
Are they hinting me on sth? that I shouldnt continue anymore?

Sometimes I really hate myself
For being easily beaten up
However, I tried
And I'll be trying
Clinging to the tiny ray of hope and climb up this wall of obstacle

So beautifully said, but will I be able to do it?
Maybe, only heaven knows

Sentimental kills. Fuck You!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BfqKEEQiI

More thought

I met Qian today on bus, both going to lab.
"So r u goin to do a postgrad?"
“No, I can't stand lab." She said.
I was taken aback for no reason.
And then I figured it out. Probably because there is no trace of regret in her eyes, despite her amazing cap point.
I just can't stop thinking about this matter.
Doing a postgrad?Doing a postgrad not?
People always say ,"follow your heart."
The problem is my heart is directionless as well.